


The Chaos of James Madison

by minervajeanlupin



Series: Love Doesn't Discriminate (but it can be messy) [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cat Philip Hamilton, Fake Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Historical References, Laser Tag, Multi, No Angst, That's a tag I never thought I'd use, They just play laser tag, This is the most shitposty thing I've done, appreciate james everyone, he deserves the best, just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 19:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12440430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minervajeanlupin/pseuds/minervajeanlupin
Summary: Thomas and Alex are shocked to find out that their boyfriend James has never been to laser tag and force him to go with them. Chaos ensues.I'm trying to get the number of fics in this pairing to a 100, so this is my contribution.





	The Chaos of James Madison

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my own experiences. This is definitely not my best work (in my opinion at least), but it was really fun to write! I tried to include a few parallels to the Revolutionary War and what happened after. Please leave a kudos or a comment if you want me to continue this series- it's really interesting to explore the dynamics between these three!

Thomas and Alex stared at James, shocked.

“What?” Alex finally asked in a strangled voice, aghast. James didn’t look at either of them, trying to separate Philip, his and Alex and Thomas’ cat, and George Eaker, Dolley and Martha’s cat. George was a large tabby kitten, and he and Philip had gotten into fights ever since they had seen each other. Dolley and Martha seemed to have a knack for adopting trouble-making kittens. Their other kitten, Payne, was… well, a pain, but luckily James didn’t have to look after him as Dolley and Martha were taking him to the vet.

“Honestly, these two fight almost as much as you two do.” He commented, moving Philip away from George. Theo, Theodosia and Aaron’s completely black kitten, came up to James and stared at him with her large blue eyes. James stroked her head.

“I thought it would be a terrible idea to offer to cat-sit for both Dolley and Aaron at the same time, but this isn’t so bad.” He commented, turning back to his boyfriends. They were still staring at him, their mouths open.

“What?” He asked defensively. “So I’ve never been to laser tag. What’s the big deal?” Alex and Thomas shook their heads, amazed.

“How have you never been to laser tag?!” Alex asked. “Even I’ve been! Well, John, Laf, and Herc forced me to go as they were worried I hadn’t taken a break in so long, but still!”

Thomas shook his head mournfully. “I take full responsibility.” He said. “It’s all my fault. I should have forced you to go to laser tag sooner.”

James shook his head, used to his boyfriends’ antics and dramatic nature. He continued petting Theo, who was now rubbing her head against Philip’s. The two kitten had gotten along very well ever since the day Alex had brought Philip home.

“Well, it’s not too late.” Alex mused. Any other day, James would have been suspicious of his tone and would have turned around and seen Alex and Thomas exchange glances, the wheels turning in his head. But it wasn’t any other day. There were kittens near him, and nothing was more important to him than kittens (he had even told Alex and Thomas that once, but they had sulked until he had assured them they were more important).

And that was why he was here now.

“Why me?” He grouched, shifting on Thomas’ lap.

“Because,” Alex said, his phone out to take a blackmail photo when James wasn’t looking, “Washington’s car isn’t big enough to fit all of us, and you’re the smallest so it’s only fair that you share a seat with someone.”

“Not that I’m complaining.” Thomas said under his breath though James heard him and shot him a glare.

“Everyone okay back there?” Washington asked, looking back. James still couldn’t believe that Alex and Thomas had somehow convinced their professors to drive them, and a whole bunch of their friends, to the laser tag arena.

“Yeah.” Hercules, Lafayette, and John chorused from the back. They resumed cuddling, John braiding Lafayette’s hair.

“Yes.” Maria said, playing some sort of hand game with Alex, who was sitting next to her. Eliza, who was sitting in front of them, next to Washington, looked at her fondly. The two of them were planning on getting married in a month and had were even more inseparable than before.

“Son?” Washington asked. Everyone snickered silently and Alex’s face turned red.

“I’m not your son.” He mumbled, but a lot less aggressively than usual. He had resigned himself to the fact that Washington would always refer to him as son. “But yeah, I’m fine.”

“James?” Washington said. “You sounded upset.”

James sighed. “I’m fine sir, don’t worry.”

There was silence except for a few arguments on what music should be playing- until Washington decided they should vote as it was a democracy after all. They got stuck listening to classical music as it was the only one more than one person wanted to listen to. Washington had voted on it first and James followed, smirking at everyone as he did so. It was clear that this was his revenge for them making him sit on Thomas’ lap.

They arrived at the laser tag place fairly quickly. Martha Washington, who was driving the other group over, arrived soon after. She had been driving Aaron, Theodosia, Angelica, and Peggy.

“So, how are we going to split up the groups?” Washington asked.

“Hogwarts Houses?” James suggested.

“But most of the people here are Slytherins, right?” Alex said. “I mean, me, Jefferson (I still can't believe we’re in the same house), Washington, Aaron, Angelica, and Maria. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“And James, you’re the only Ravenclaw and Eliza and Hercules are the only Hufflepuffs.” Thomas added. Everyone stared at him. “What?” He asked, shrugging. “It’s important information to know.”

“Okay, so that’s out.” Angelica said. “Girls versus boys?”

“Ahem.” Lafayette said.

“Besides, there are a lot more guys than girls anyway.” Alex added.

“We’d still probably beat you.” Angelica said, crossing her arms.

“True.” Alex admitted. “Which is why we can’t do that, we need it to be fair.”

“Let’s just let the people at the arena decide.” James cut in, wanting this to start already. They all walked inside. The entered a room with a few other people there, but it was too dark to make out their faces.

“Does everyone here know how to play laser tag?” The employee asked. Everyone murmured yes except for James, but no one heard him.

“Okay.” She continued. “Then I won’t bother explaining the rules. This game will be free for all, you can shoot at whomever you choose. But you can join another person's team if you both shoot each other at the same time. If you join someone’s team, you won’t be able to shoot them again.”

James, Thomas, and Alex exchanged looks.

“Truce?” Alex asked them. Thomas nodded.

“If I had known this would get you guys to agree on something, I would have come here a lot sooner.” James commented.

“Okay, now have fun!” The employee said, letting them all walk into another room to get their guns and vests. Thomas had to help James put on the vest and it was just a little too big for him.

“Okay, let’s go.” Alex said, hefting his gun. Thomas and James walked behind him into the dark laser tag arena.

James looked around. He couldn’t make out much, but there were flashes of blue and red light which helped illuminate the arena a little more and he could just barely see ramps and pathways leading to different places.

“Okay, shoot me on the count of three.” Alex said. All three of them did that at the same time so they wouldn’t be able to shoot each other in the future. “I’ll go scout out the land.” Alex proclaimed, moving ahead while Thomas and James stayed hidden under a ramp.

Alex moved quickly, ducking as someone behind him tried to shoot him. He saw Aaron up ahead, looking around cautiously.

“Ah, Burr, thank goodness.” He said. “Let’s go-” He stopped when as Burr lifted his gun up and shot him straight in the chest.

“Did you just shoot me?!” Alex cried, hardly being able to believe it. Burr widened his eyes.

“Oh, I’m really sorry, I thought you were going to shoot me so I shot first.” Alex shook his head.

“I wasn’t going to before, but I’m going to now!” Burr scampered away before Alex could shoot him. Alex sighed before continuing.

He stopped when he heard voices. It was Hercules and… Samuel Seabury? And their really weird history substitute, George Frederick?! What was Hercules doing with these people? Alex crept forward, making sure they couldn’t see him.

“So I’ll lead you to where Lafayette and Laurens are.” Hercules was saying. Alex raised an eyebrow. Why would Herc be helping them? And since when did he refer to John by his last name?

“Okay, great.” Seabury said.

“It’s that way.” Herc said, gesturing to the right. “I’ll protect both of you from behind.” Seabury and Frederick began walking. Hercules walked slowly behind them. He lifted his gun and aimed it towards them. Alex widened his eyes, smothering a laugh. Hercules shot them both quickly before running away in the opposite direction. Alex followed him.

“What-” Frederick asked.

“I’m a spy on the inside!” Herc called after him as he continued running. Alex ran after him, panting a little.

“Herc, it’s me! Slow down!” Hercules turned around and promptly stopped when he saw Alex.

“Oh, hey Alex.” He said.

“That was great.” Alex said, laughing. Hercules smiled, laughing too.

“Thanks. G-Wash suggested it.”

“Washington?” Alex asked, surprised. Hercules nodded.

“Yeah. You know how Seabury transferred to that other college?” Alex made a small noise in affirmation; he didn’t want to admit it but he missed arguing with Seabury a little.

“Well,” Hercules continued, “It turns out that George Frederick, that crazy substitute, teaches at that college and he and some students from there are also in this game of laser tag. They’re beating us quite badly, so G-Wash is helping us get better.”

“Okay.” Alex said determinedly, completely forgetting about James and Thomas. “I’m in.”

 

“Why are the people shooting at us Thomas???” James asked desperately, using the taller man to shield himself from the attack.

“Shoot them back, then James.” Thomas said. “Actually, better idea, let’s get out of here.” The two of them fled, finding a better hiding place.

Deeper in the arena, at a large open space, was their friends.

“Okay men.” Washington began, staring them all in the face.

“And women, and everyone else, of course.” He quickly amended when both Angelica and Lafayette gave him incredulous looks. “We will not accept defeat. We need to win.”

Everyone nodded seriously. This was more than a game of laser tag now. It was a matter of pride.

“But also make sure to have fun.” Washington added quickly as an afterthought.

“Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy. You will guard the base. Don’t let anyone get past you.” The three of them nodded, high fiving each other. Those poor students from the other college didn’t stand a chance.

“Now, Lafayette, Hercules, John, and Alex, follow me. We will go straight to enemy base.” Washington said.

“Sir, can I be in charge?” Alex asked.

“No.” Washington said immediately. “Now, let’s go.”

“But sir-” Alex protested.

“Son, we need you alive.” Washington said, beginning to move.

“I’m not your son.” Alex muttered, but he followed them out.

They all crept forward, making sure no one could see them. They did see some opponents, but they dispatched them with ease. They walked into enemy territory.

“Where is everyone?” John asked, looking around, confused. There seemed to be no one there. Alex’s eyes widened.

“It’s a trap!” he yelled as they were shot from all sides. Hercules cursed loudly. Washington gave him a disapproving look.

“Follow me, quickly!” He said, moving out of the area. They re-grouped under a ramp.

“I led my men straight into a massacre.” Washington mourned as the others panted, trying to catch their breath.

“With all due respect, sir, you’re the only straight one here. I think you mean you led your men gay into a massacre.” Alex explained. Washington nodded gravely.

“Wait, where’s John?” Hercules asked, looking around. “I thought he followed us.”

“I’m here.” John said weakly, stumbling to their hiding place. They all gasped in horror. He had been shot at least twenty different times. John collapsed on the floor. Alex rushed to him.

“John? John?” He called out desperately, shaking him. “Why didn’t you run?” John coughed weakly.

“I… I thought I could take them.” He murmured, eyes fluttering closed. “I’m sorry Alex. Don’t forget me.” He took one last breath before becoming still. Lafayette rolled their eyes.

“Mon Dieu. And you guys call  _ me _ dramatic?” They huffed.

“Okay, we have to move. Who knows how long it will be before our position is compromised?” Washington said. John opened an eye.

“I can’t move though, I’m dead.” He said plainly.

“C’mon we have to go.” Hercules said. “Is there anyway to get you to move?” John smiled impishly.

“You could carry me.” He suggested. Hercules grinned and picked him up easily.

“Okay, let’s go.” He said as Laf and Alex tried and failed not to laugh at John’s shocked expression. They walked on.

“Alex!” They heard someone call out. They turned around. It was Thomas and James.

“Oh…” Alex said, wincing. “I completely forgot about you. Sorry.” Thomas shook his head sadly.

“We almost died.”

“So, what’s the plan now?” James asked. Washington stepped forward.

“You two should just try and pick off any stray opponents you can find, but keep a low profile. We’ll take it from here.” Thomas and James nodded and the group left after Alex pecked them both on the cheek.

“Well, I’m going to hide.” Thomas announced brightly. 

“But Thomas, I want to kill people.” James whined.

“Okay, honey, you go do that. But come back safely, okay?” Thomas asked. James nodded and crept along. His small stature was soon going to come in handy- the enemy would never see him coming.

Meanwhile, the large, obstreperous group crept along. They soon reached the hiding place of all the people from the other college.

“Okay, Lafayette, you’ll go from that side.” Washington whispered. “Alex-” Alex perked up at his name, glad to finally be doing something, “-you’ll go from the back. Hercules, you’ll go from the front and resume your spy persona.” Hercules nodded bravely. It was time for him to prove that he was more than an amazing, well known fashion designer that all the kids in college wanted to get to know.

“And John.” Washington turned to him. “You’ll have to go from the most dangerous side.” John nodded. He had already died, but this was a cause he was willing to die for again and again.

“Raise a glass to freedom.” Alex said, and they all put their hands together.

“Something they can never take away.” John muttered. They all went to their positions.

“Attack!” Washington called, just loud enough for them to hear over the dramatic music playing in the background and the sound of laser guns shooting.

Hercules walked in.

“Hey, guys! Need any help?” He asked.

“Who are you?” One of them asked.

“A tailor’s apprentice.” He replied. As they were distracted, Lafayette and Alex crept forward. Once they were in position, they began to shoot and all hell broke loose.

“What-” Someone gasped as they were shot twice by Lafayette.

“Who is the best? C’est moi.” Lafayette grinned as they shot the enemy down left and right.

“I am not throwing away my shot!” Alex yelled as he shot everyone in the vicinity. He even shot Lafayette by accident once but it didn’t matter as they were on the same team. Hercules began shooting at them too with careful precision and a deadly aim. As the students tried to escape, John was there to shoot them down again, just in case. He got shot at least five times again, but he didn’t let that stop him.

But the most amazing moment was when George Frederick came face-to-face with Washington. He opened his mouth to say something, but Washington just lifted his gun up carefully and shot him straight on the chest. 

Suddenly, the lights in the arena started flashing. “The blue team has won!” The person announced. They all cheered, high-fiving and hugging one another.

“We won!” Lafayette said excitedly.

“We won!” John said, kissing Herc on the cheek.

“We won!” They all yelled as loudly as they could.

“The world turned upside down.” Alex commented, looking at his almost teary eyed friends. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my date mates that I abandoned.”

But there was no need. James and Thomas rushed towards them, having heard their yelling.

“Alex!” James said, more excited than Alex had ever seen him. “We won! And I shot at least eight people!”

“Good job Jemmy.” Alex said, smiling fondly.

They later got pieces of paper that listed who was the best (basically, who shot the most people and got shot the least). 

Unsurprisingly, Washington was first. While he had gotten shot a little, he had shot a lot more people than anyone else in the group. Maybe even less surprisingly, Angelica was in second place. She was just too intimidating for anyone to shoot her, and she was good at almost everything, including shooting people at a distance. But what really surprised people was that-

“James was third?!” Thomas asked, incredulous.

“What can I say?” James said, smiling. “I’m just too amazing.”

In reality, it was because he hadn’t been shot even once because he used Thomas as a sort of human shield, and he was so short that when he shot people, they never knew where it was coming from or who was shooting them.

But most of the results were what was expected. Even though Alex and Thomas vehemently denied it.

“I got last?!” They cried out at the exact same time. It was because Alex had been reckless and shot at way more than he had been expecting, and Thomas had shot almost no one, preferring to hide and watching everything from a distance.

James laughed, happy with the ways things ended, until he realized he would still have to sit on someone’s lap on the ride home.


End file.
